Ethan Schlatter: ExTernal Director/
President Elect
Year: 3rd
Major: Rhetoric /Media Studies
Number of years with T4C: 2
Favorite Character played onstage: Sexbot
Ethan Schlatter was born Ethan Jolie-Pitt, but changed his name at age 12 over creative differences with his mother and father. Ethan Schlatter emancipated himself at age 14 and began a life most envious—the life of an international foot model. His feet were perfect. Smooth, soft, narrow, but not too narrow, long, but just short enough to make any shoe look like it cost a million bucks. And he did just that, until every shoe in the world cost more than the bottom 99% could afford. And suddenly, while taking a nude bath in a pool of crisp hundred dollar bills with Ryan Reynolds and Zac Efron—both whom quickly left their wives at Ethan’s bequest—he realized what a horrible, horrible mistake he’d made. He decided to give up his entire fortune to fund the production of 8 billion pairs of velvet shoes to deliver to every human being on Earth. But then—because global warming—it rained everywhere in the world at the same time for 24 hours straight, and all the shoes in all the world were ruined. Now Ethan Schlatter, without shoes himself, without Zac, and without Ryan, lives in the dumpster behind Taco Bell Cantina, eating leftover chalupas and realizing more and more each day that life’s what you make it so let’s make it rock. Life's what you make it, so come on, come on, come on, everybody now.
Contact: t4cexternal@gmail.com
Major: Rhetoric /Media Studies
Number of years with T4C: 2
Favorite Character played onstage: Sexbot
Ethan Schlatter was born Ethan Jolie-Pitt, but changed his name at age 12 over creative differences with his mother and father. Ethan Schlatter emancipated himself at age 14 and began a life most envious—the life of an international foot model. His feet were perfect. Smooth, soft, narrow, but not too narrow, long, but just short enough to make any shoe look like it cost a million bucks. And he did just that, until every shoe in the world cost more than the bottom 99% could afford. And suddenly, while taking a nude bath in a pool of crisp hundred dollar bills with Ryan Reynolds and Zac Efron—both whom quickly left their wives at Ethan’s bequest—he realized what a horrible, horrible mistake he’d made. He decided to give up his entire fortune to fund the production of 8 billion pairs of velvet shoes to deliver to every human being on Earth. But then—because global warming—it rained everywhere in the world at the same time for 24 hours straight, and all the shoes in all the world were ruined. Now Ethan Schlatter, without shoes himself, without Zac, and without Ryan, lives in the dumpster behind Taco Bell Cantina, eating leftover chalupas and realizing more and more each day that life’s what you make it so let’s make it rock. Life's what you make it, so come on, come on, come on, everybody now.
Contact: t4cexternal@gmail.com
